February 28, 2011

The Truth About Lying



Last Friday night my friend Colin and I had a little tête-à-tête over a bottle of wine (or two), and the conversation eventually turned to both of our recent forays into the world of twenty-something dating.

Sure, we both "dated" in college (although not each other) - as much as having a guy pay for your cup at a kegger can be construed as "dating" - and we've both been in longer, serious relationships. But at twenty-five and twenty-six, as a young urban professional and a new york city graduate student, respectively, the dating world now is not the same as when we were young.

In some ways it's very different,  like going on actual "dates," maybe with real stemware, instead of red Solo cups, and maybe a waiter or two, instead of your friend pumping a keg in the kitchen. But in a lot of ways nothing has really changed.

Like the lying.

Now I know, I know, your immediate thought is probably, "What? I don't lie! What are you talking about?"

And you're right, you probably have never lied about anything major like your age, or how much money you earn, or how you spent the last five years saving babies in sub-Saharan Africa when you were actually living in your parent's basement, working at Best Buy.

But think really hard about all the times you haven't been one hundred percent honest. Really think.

Find anything? Yeah, that's what I though....

The question came up because Colin asked me if I could ever tell if a guy was bullshitting while trying to pick me up. I said that I usually could tell if he was stretching the truth to impress me, but it wasn't always totally obvious. Colin said that I'd be surprised at the exaggeration, if not the straight up lies, guys sneak into a conversation to seem more desirable.

To be honest, it was something I was aware of, but something I'd never really given a lot of thought to.

I naively observed to him that I'd never lied to impress someone.

Colin laughed and said, "Julia, you're a girl. Of course you don't have to lie!"

But is that really true? Had I never lied to a guy? Sure, I've never claimed to be twenty-two, or said I was childhood friends with a celebrity, or pretended to be an heiress, all with the intention of making myself seem more attractive to a guy I was interested in (my general rule is that if my looks and personality aren't enough, the guy isn't worth pursuing anyway).

But I've definitely lied to plenty of boys.

The difference is that whereas boys lie to me to get ahead, I lie to boys to get rid of them.

I can't even count the number of times I've turned away some unsavory, leering fellow by claiming to have a boyfriend, or how many times I've escaped from a grabby dude by saying, "sorry, we were just leaving!" and moving across the bar. In high school (and I'm not proud of this) I even told a guy I was a lesbian! (A lie that came back to bite me in the ass when he saw me with my boyfriend a few months later. I had to make up some excuse about having "changed sides again").

Which means I've been just as dishonest as the guys who claimed to be "touring with their band" or "about to start their own practice" or "on the verge of getting signed."  I've just done it in a different way.

But thinking about all of this raises the question: Why don't we all say what's really on our minds?

Why can't the guys, instead of displaying their exaggerated plumage in some bizarre mating ritual, just put a little more thought into the actual conversation and into being themselves, without trying to steal the show?

Why can't the girls, instead of coming up with transparent excuses, just be honest and say, "dude, it's not going to happen"?

We all know what the other person is doing - everyone knows the truth about lying - and yet we all keep doing it.

What are we trying to protect ourselves from?


What was the last lie you told?


February 27, 2011

Sunday Sweets: Frilly Frocks

I really, really don't want to get my hopes up, but it seems like Spring might finally be peeking it's little head around the corner!

A week ago we had a gorgeous day when it was almost 70 degrees, and today, while not as warm, was still sunny and beautiful. After a delicious brunch with a friend (I got eggs Benedict on a waffle!) we took a walk in Central Park and it was just lovely.

{via}

I may have jumped the gun a bit with just a cardigan and a trench coat (I was definitely shivering when the wind blew or the sun clouded over), but today still made me want to throw on some flats, sunglasses, and beautiful sundress and prance around the park in the sun.

And here's what I would wear if it were warm enough today!


A Time For Toasts Dress

Get To Know You Dress
Baklava Beauty Dress

Floating Petals Dress

Veridian Verity Dress

Swan Cloud Dress
Yellow, Gorgeous! Dress

I am so ready for spring!


February 25, 2011

Fill in the Rainy Blanks

I'm not sure where you are, but it's miserable here in Cambridge.

It's raining, it's cold, and all the gross stuff that's been frozen under the snow banks is starting to melt out all over the sidewalk. Ew.


But nasty weather aside, today I'm off to IKEA with my mom, and then catching up over a glass of wine with an old friend. But before that I have some blanks to fill! Don't forget to link up with Lauren!




1.   I am currently obsessed with       trying to add color to my wardrobe, yet I keep buying black clothes! Someone need to come shopping with me to lay down the law!

2.  Today I am    thrilled     because    I got $260 worth of clothes from Urban Outfitters for $17!!!

3.  The age I am is    26    and the age I feel is    some days I feel 7 and other days I feel 45. It usually depends what I'm wearing and what mood I'm in .

4.  My favorite place is     my mother's kitchen. It is the very embodiment of "home" .

5.  Something I have been procrastinating is     internship applications. I absolutely must send out at least another ten in the next couple of weeks .

6.  The last thing I purchased was       an amazing ruffly dress, velvet skirt, and sparkly tunic top .

7.  The thing I love most about my home is      the people in it :)

***


Happy Weekend Everyone!


February 24, 2011

The Breakfast Of Champions

This morning I woke up and saw this on the kitchen counter,



blueberry raspberry crumble pie left over from the dinner my brother and his friends had last night,

and I immediately knew that all my healthy ideas of yogurt and granola for breakfast were a lost cause.

But then I thought that if I was going to breakfast wrong, I was going to do it right.


So out came the vanilla bean ice cream.

But then I thought that I really did want something a little breakfasty. 

So I brewed myself a cup of Earl Grey.



And that, my friends, is the breakfast of Champions.

***

When did you last break your breakfast rules?



February 23, 2011

We Bit Wednesday On The Road!

For some reason this week felt really long, even though it's barely Wednesday. 

Maybe because I usually have Wednesdays off, but this week I front loaded all of my classes so that I could get out of town for an extra-long weekend to go home and visit my family and relax. 

But still, having all my classes in three days was a lot, and now I'm tired.

I may have to take a little Bolt Bus nap in a bit.

In other news, can we talk about how March is in five days?

It seems like I was ringing in the new year in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago, and my birthday seems like it was last weekend. Instead soon midterms are coming up, and in less than three weeks I'll be heading to sunny, tropical Guatemala for ten days. Before I know it it'll be the end of April and school will be almost over.

I'll be halfway done with my Master's when it feels like I just started.

Time is a crazy, crazy thing.
 
 
 
{one} do you always wear your seatbelt in the car?
Always.

{two} do you crack your knuckles?
Ew, no. It's one of my hugest pet peeves. 
 
{three} what is your favorite flavor of gum?
Vanilla Mint.

{four} what is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own?
I have three pairs of pearl studs (each slightly different), one from my mom, one from my dad, and one from my brother. I like to wear each of them and it reminds me of who gave them to me. I also have my great-grandmother's pearl necklace with a diamond clasp which I love.

{five} who is your best friend?
I like to think that I've moved so much that I have a best friend in every city :)
 
{six} what is your favorite smell?
Lemon zest. And baked bread.

{seven} what is your favorite lunch meat?
Prosciutto di Parma.

{eight} do you still have your tonsils?
Yes, although my doctor said that if I got another throat infection (I had three last year!) I would have to get them removed. Eek!

{nine} do you untie your shoes before you take them off?
Not usually, but I hardly ever wear shoes with  laces.

{ten} what color is your car?
 I don't have a car. But when I had a scooter in Rome it was Merlot.

 *** 

Don't forget to link up with Leigh!


February 21, 2011

Weather with Sybil

Remember Friday when it 66 degrees, sunny, beautiful, and warm? Friday night I put on a sundress, open-toed shoes (with no stockings!) and went downtown with a shawl - not even a jacket! - and I was almost overdressed. It was like a lost May evening haphazardly wandered into the middle of February.

Yeah, well, that was too good to be true.

Saturday the temperature dropped about 30 degrees and New York was hit with the most ridiculous windstorms. I was in Astoria and there were - literally - tornadoes of garbage whirling in the air, propelled by icy blades of wind.

Yesterday the wind died down a bit, but the temperature dropped below freezing.

And then this morning I woke up to this:





Needless to say, I am quite displeased. 


February 18, 2011

Fill in The Blank Friday!

Hello Lovlies!
I've missed you!

It's been one hell of a week! I had a paper due Monday, a five-page internship application due Tuesday, and a brutal, brutal Econ exam today. Plus the Keyfrees have been out of town since Wednesday, so I've been at home watching the kids, which means supervising homework, getting dinner, putting them to bed, finally getting to do my homework after ten, and then waking up at six-thirty, getting them dressed, fed, and on the bus at seven-thirty, before getting myself to school by nine.

I am spent.

But, not only is it Friday - Finally! - but it's a beautiful, clear sunny day in New York City, and it's 66 degrees! 

Spring has sprung!

1.   I am       thrilled for Spring! I cannot wait to take advantage of living 200 feet away from Central Park!

2.  The bravest thing I've ever done was    take a double black diamond mogul run all the way down the mountain with broken boot bindings, at the very beginning of the season with no practice. This might also count as one of the dumbest things I've ever done .

3.  I feel prettiest when     I'm laughing (it helps if I'm having a hair great day and wearing a lovely dress)

4.  Something that keeps me awake at night is    not being able to get everything done in time. But rarely. I usually get it done, and in the last seven years I've been so tired from either work or school that I usually sleep like a baby!

5.  My favorite meal in the entire world is    steamed lobster with butter sauce, with asparagus and baked potatoes. The jury is still out on dessert.

6.  The way to my heart is       through my sense of humor. And my stomach :) .

7.  I would like to    get this summer internship that I applied for in Mali working at an AIDS clinic  .
Don't forget to link up with Lauren!
***
Have a warm and wonderful weekend!

February 11, 2011

We Have Some Blanks To Fill!

This Friday literally came out of nowhere! But I'm not complaining!

I'm going to need every minute of it to finish a paper and a couple of applications, but not before I get a little R&R after a long week at school. Tonight I'm going to see a play, and tomorrow I'm getting up to all sorts of shenanigans with my girlfriends for a "Screw Cupid" Girl's Night Out.

But first we have some blanks to fill! This week's theme is guilty pleasures, a topic I know a lot about!



1.   The TV show/website that I watch/read that I would be embarrassed to tell anyone about is       Say Yes To The Dress. Although to say that I watch it would be an exaggeration; I have watched it. But even the few episodes I saw over winter break were  enough to give me a guilty complex about watching bad reality TV. At least I've never seen Bridalplasty!

2.  An item of clothing that is worn and torn but that I love far to much to throw away is   my old pair of yoga pants that I use as pajamas. I'm pretty sure they're starting to have holes, but they're so soft and comfortable!

3.  My grocery store impulse buy is     appetizery food, like cheese and crackers or chips and dip; stuff that I really don't need but that I crave when I go grocery shopping hungry  .

4.  Something I do at work to pass time that I wouldn't want my co-workers to know about is    actually nothing. I'm excellent at wasting time (at school) but my friends usually know everything that I'm doing to procrastinate .

5.  One thing in my life that I could give up, but never will is    late night snacks. I really don't need them, and most of the time I have the discipline to go to bed without a last bite, but they  sooo hit the spot .

6.  A little indulgence that I have is       giving myself a manicure while catching up on a couple of episodes of a great show I haven't watched in a while .

7.  The junk drawer/area in my house is     full of miscellaneous paper products, like tiny notebooks and envelopes and pens and pencils and rubber bands; all stuff I rarely use but don't want to throw away.

Don't forget to link up with Lauren!

***

February 9, 2011

Wednesday Bits Are Wee!

While we're on the subject of slacking off, I'm supposed to be writing a memo for my management class right now (although I did already write half this morning), and getting some surprise presents ready for my friend's birthday tonight (I hope she doesn't read this until later), but again, here I am, blogging instead of being productive.

At least Wee Bit Wednesday is always a quick post! 

Don't forget to link up with Leigh Ashley!



{one} ice: crushed or cubed?
Cubed, definitely. Especially in cocktails.

{two} what is your worst traffic pet peeve?
When people don't use their signal to change lanes or make a turn. It's a flick of the wrist, it's not like we're asking you to hand signal out the window and holler!

{three} what room in your house best represents your personality?
Well, I don't really have my own house, but in the house where I live, I'd say the bathroom, it's full of all my girly things, or my walk in closet, full of all my shoes :)

{four} do you save old birthday cards?
I save them for a few months, in a pile somewhere, until I find them in the summer in a fit of cleaning, and throw them away. But that doesn't always happen, so I occasionally find old diaries with birthday and christmas cards from years before, stuffed in the pages.

{five} when was the last time you went on a picnic?
Last year Valerio and I went on a picnic in Southern Italy.

{six} do you regularly check your horoscope?
Hardly ever.

{seven} when you’re home, what do you wear on your feet?
Socks and/or these amazing fur slippers my mom got me in Helsinki.

{eight} what’s your favorite gambling game?
I like playing poker -- Texas Hold'em -- but I'm not very good.

{nine} have you ever written (or started writing) a book?
I have the beginning of a short story sitting in a drafts folder on my computer.

{ten} what is your favorite musical?
I don't watch a lot of musicals, but I love West Side Story. So much passion!

***


February 8, 2011

Getting Back Into Gear

I've been back in school for exactly three weeks, and our semester is only thirteen weeks long.

You'd think that almost a quarter into it I'd already be back in school mode. 

You'd think. 


{via}


Sure, I've already handed in some assignments, I've done a bunch of readings, I had an interview for a board position, and I'm starting to get ready to hand in my first paper (next Monday), take my first exam (this Thursday), and submit my first internship applications (next Tuesday).

But I'm not enthusiastic about it. I still cannot to get back into gear.

This weekend I didn't go to school once. I figured I would just "read at home," when I actually just vegged out and watched the entire first season of Modern Family.

(Excellent show, by the way)

In my defense, last week I did spend five consecutive days of more than twelve hours at school each day, including Sunday. So in a way I did deserve the weekend off. But I also just got back from a month long break of absolute and total leisure. Maybe I should have expected to come back and actually have to do some work.

But whatever the reason, I have to get back into gear. 

I need to stop conceding myself little facebook breaks, and snack breaks, and nap breaks, and chat breaks. 

I just got back from winter break, I've had enough breaks. 

Now I just need to convince myself of what I already know and get back to work. 

Easier said than done. 

Any tips?

February 6, 2011

Sunday Sweets: Beautiful Bedrooms

This weekend was a sleepy one. 

Last week I spent six days in a row at school, and for five of them I was there for twelve hours or more, so by the time the weekend rolled around I was definitely tired.

Friday night I stayed in and caught up on laundry and rest, and even last night, after my friend's birthday party, I was home by 1 am. And then both yesterday and today I slept in until 11 am.

And although I'm finally all rested and ready for another long week of school, I couldn't help thinking of all the other beautiful places I could have been getting my shut eye.




















{all photos via weheartit}

February 5, 2011

1950s Photoshoot: J Clements Photography

I'm so excited that I finally get to write this post! 

Back in August, when I had just come back from Europe before moving to New York, I went home to Cambridge for a few days, where I got to see some of my oldest friends from high school.

It's always nice to see old friends that you only get to see a couple of times a year because you get to catch up on all their news and the fun exciting things in their lives.

When I was home, my wonderful friend Jessie, who is now a professional photographer, suggested that we have a fun girl's dinner, dress up in some cute dresses, and do a 1950s photo shoot! So my friend Jennah and I went over to Jessie's house with a suitcase full of vintage-style clothes, a full tube of red lipstick, and enough Aquanet to land us starring roles in the cast of Hair.

So after a fun and wine-fueled evening, we ended up with over three hundred photos of us being classy, sultry, silly, and plain ridiculous, and I thought I'd share some of my favorites from the shoot that Jessie did of me.

Very Vintage:






Saucy School Teacher:






A Day at the Beach:



I love these pictures, even though I'm a smidge disappointed that we took them before I lost a few pounds, so I'm a little rounder than I would have liked! :)

And even though we were just a bunch of girls drinking wine and playing around, Jessie was still so professional and after seeing the photos I realized how incredibly talented she is! I am the least photogenic person in the world and she managed to actually make me look decent in some of these!


Here are some of my other favorites of hers:











Don't these make you want to do your own photo shoot!?

If any of you are in the Greater Boston Area, and looking for an amazingly talented photographer with a wonderful personality to boot, definitely get in touch with her!



Do it! 
You can thank me later :)