April 12, 2010

Reverse Mail

Dear Lady Whose Feet We Know,
What is the deal? I thought we had a thing going on. We were your go-to comfy shoes for almost two years, with jeans, sweat pants, even a skirt every once in a while! And now, just like that, you ditch us for two crappy pairs of six euro sneakers, just because they aren't all dirty and broken and they actually look cute with skinny jeans?! That's whack! What about value? Does that mean nothing to you? You invested sixty dollars in us, and just a measly twelve (combined) for them! Where's the love? You know what, fine. Don't wear us. We don't even miss you and your stupid smelly feet.
Not at all bitterly,
Your Once-Loyal Converse

Dear New Customer,
Thanks for discovering us, and stopping by all the time. We do appreciate your business. But maybe before you come by next time, you should look up the word in Spanish for the thing that you're looking for. Referring to it onomatopoetically by saying "the thing that goes 'zip!'" and pointing at your crotch is not the ideal way to help us understand that you're trying to buy zipper. Those little portable dictionaries go a long way. Next time, come prepared.
Still Laughing At You Little Bit,
Your Local Fabric Store
p.s. By the way, sorry for making you act out "zipper" about three times before finally telling you we don't actually carry them.

Dear Body,
I get that this whole sewing things is new and exciting and productive, but for the love of everything holy, will you please stop stabbing me with pins? It's bad enough you almost sewed right over me the other day... you could really make an effort. This can't be that pleasant for you, either! We are part of the same body, after all.
Jeez. You wouldn't think I'd have to actually ask!
Annoyed,
Left Thumb

Dear Overdressed Chick,
Um, rumor has it it's spring. Why are we still stuck here in the back of the closet, folded up into a little pile of out-of-season rejects? It's gorgeous out! And you're still wearing jeans and socks and sweaters? Break out the flats, we'd love to hang out with them! We've never seen Madrid before, please take us out and show us around? You know you want to...
Bored as hell in here,
Your Skirts

Dear Dumbass,
Man are your gullible. You think this is actually how you look? I've been playing a little tricky trick on you, making you think what you see is reality. Every think to check in with my friends at the gym? You are totally fatter than you look up in here!
I know, I'm An Asshole,
Your Full-Length Mirror



p.s. Remember when I bought this black and white, and grey fabric? Check back tomorrow to see the skirts I made with it! I like the grey one so much, that I might, might, even think about including a tutorial (my very first! hoping it won't be a complete disaster and be my last as well) for it, since I sort of winged it myself without a pattern and it turned out pretty great! So I might end up getting more fabric and making another one in a different color. You'll have to come back and see! :)

1 comment:

Whitney said...

lol! I love this, what a great idea.

Also, I got it to show my email address now. Thanks for the link on how to do it :)