February 17, 2010

The Hidden Dangers of Children

Children should come with warning labels.

Something along the lines of:

Age: Three
I Like To: Run Around, Scream, Cough and Sneeze, Pull Down My Pants in the Middle of the Classroom
I Do Not Like To: Pay Attention, Sit Still, Listen, Wash My Hands, Cover My Mouth When I Cough and Sneeze
I Carry: Snot (always), Germs and Assorted Viruses (often), Lice (sometimes)

So that you can keep your distance and not get infected by these little buggers. Unfortunately, when you've chosen a career - however temporary - working with these germy little buggers - however cute they are - you've set yourself up for quite a few sick days in bed.

My first day of work was a week ago. One week ago today. I got in exactly five days of work before taking my first sick day. According to my co-workers, this is totally normal. And I shouldn't think this first bout of cold/influenza/baby cooties will immunize me for the rest of the year. No. Kids are amazing because they carry a host of constantly changing germy viruses, to keep you sick all year round. And it's not just your average two-day cold. I've been coughing, congested, and voiceless since Friday, more or less, and today is Wednesday. And I know I won't be back to 100% by tomorrow either, but I also know I'll be back at work anyway, since I don't want to miss too much too soon.

Well, enough bitterness about little children. They are, after all, very adorable. Yesterday my class of five-year-olds started chanting my name and cheering when I came into the classroom. And the two-year-olds all threw themselves at my legs for a giant group hug. They definitely know how to make you want to give them all little hugs, even if it means compromising your health.

I'm fairly certain that germs have figured out that kids are the perfect carriers.

Anyhoo. Back to my fest of chicken soup, mint tea, and orange juice. yay!


Stephen K said...

Haha you know, I think you might have hit upon a wonderful business idea there! Shotgun your UK office :P

But yup, you're definitely right. That's why I think 7/8 year olds are a good age to teach! Still young enough to be adorable to the point of forgiving many of their faults (maybe just me, I'm a pushover to cute kids), but old enough to not be snotty and whiny all the time.

No One Reads The Copy said...

My good friend is a kindergarten teacher and she sounds exactly like you do.

I'm not one to think kids are sooo precious, but they can be cute. I was playing with my 4 yr old niece and I won't be able to fully express the humor but I was using the red crayon and she wanted it. So I gave it to her and she was like "no, that's ok, you use it. I have to learn to be patient." I was so impressed!

And then after a pause she says, "You know, I hate being patient. Being patient looks like this" (and she made the most dejected, anxious face ever).

It was hilarious.

JennyMac said...

HAHAHAHA..our son is three and his class is a petri dish. This made me laugh out loud.

And will you pretty please link your email to your blogger profile? I wnated to respond to previous comments you left and got 'no reply at blogger' as your email. BOO! :)