January 6, 2010

Double Guest Post: Dating Wednesdays With Cheryl

So the guest post day is finally upon us (and no, I didn't screw up the date again!) Today, I'm guest posting over at Confessions of a Twenty Something-Year-Old, and Cheryl is guest posting here. See what we did? We did a little guest blogger switcheroo, for your personal enjoyment. So first read Cheryl's post over here, and then scoot your butt over to her blog, and check out my post. Ok? Ok. Carry on.

Let me just start out by saying that Cheryl cracks me up. A lot. And something has to be very funny for me to crack up by myself at my computer. Plus she's Canadian, and since I went to school in Montreal, I have a little soft spot for Canadians :) But above all, she is guest posting from the faraway exotic land of Shanghai, which makes her not just hilarious and Canadian, but international. And, (get this!) apparently we even went to the same university and majored in the same thing! Who knew! (I guess I should ask her what year she graduated and see if we actually have been secretly friends for years and somehow managed to overlook that fact in the blog world!)

So yeah, in a nutshell, Cheryl is my kind of people. And without further ado, here is a little slice of her opinion about dating:

 First Impressions Aren't Everything?

I don't know who it was that said, "first impressions aren't everything", but (s)he was obviously an asshole and a terrible advice giver and/or friend. If I've learned anything from socializing, it's that my first impression of someone pretty much always decides my future relationship with that person; and to say that first impressions don't matter is like telling me to not judge a book by the cover. You must be kidding. Because I'm going to judge it, and that's mostly the reason why I haven't given Gone With the Wind a chance yet. The cover sucks.

But that's neither here nor there.

What I'm trying to say is that the way you dress, eat, walk, talk- it all matters, and extends to all areas of your life, especially when it comes to dating. If I'm going out with a guy who's cute, but is picking at his teeth, complaining about the food, dressed like Sideshow Bob, and has no manners or intelligent conversation, I'm going to run the other way. If I see the candidate I'm interviewing walk in with torn jeans, clothes that are ten sizes too big and messy hair, I'm going to focus more of my attention on figuring why the hell he decided to dress that way to come to a job interview and whether (s)he's just going to axe me, than what (s)he has to say. If I walk into a college classroom, and my professor looks like Albert Einstein, I'm going to question the validity of his teaching degree. If I see a girl with a skirt so short, she's revealing her ass cheeks, I'm going to write her off as a whore. You get the point. It's just the natural way of things.  People are assholes, and assholes are judgmental, and as the French say, "c'est la vie".

So this is what I'm getting at: some people are great at making first impressions- they're easy on the eyes, funny, smart. Others are dumb and look like Peter Griffin. Can't choose what God gives you. If you're in the latter group however, and people REALLY need to get to know you before they can like you, you can at least attempt to manipulate and get yourself a second date or a second round of interviews. Put on some decent clothes, control your urge to make dumb jokes (unless the situation warrants it), and pick up a newspaper and memorize some interesting facts to talk about. Then, once you've received full approval from the other person, you can slowly incorporate your shitty personality into your fake personality, and by that time, it won't matter so much. Because let me tell you something, everyone judges. And your friend, the one who's stroking your hair and telling you that first impressions aren't everything, and that the fact that you were laughing so hysterically loud at the restaurant that the maitre'd had to personally come to your table and tell you to shut the hell up was "no big deal", is a huge liar and should be defriended from your Facebook friends list immediately.

So what do you think- "first impressions aren't everything"- true or false?

 p.s. Don't forget to go here!


Cheryl said...

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL. I might have even sat in for your graduation!

Julia said...

haha that would be crazy! Don't worry, we'll figure if we've actually met or not! Even if it means comparing our course loads for each year! :)

Christy said...

Ah, Cheryl, you are so smart! Now, I am not sure I'd say they are EVERYTHING, but they definitely aren't as insignificant as people make it sound. Because I'll tell ya, someone who is lookin' like a ragamuffin or says something incredibly stupid and obnoxious the first time I see them is probably not going to hold my attention for too long and the whole time I'm just going to be thinking why on earth they left their house dressed that way or wow, did they really just say that?! Ugh. People are socially retarded sometimes.

Lily of the Darkness said...

I am totally with Cheryl. Really the first date is like an interview, so the same guide lines for getting a job should be used in dating. As a HR rep for my company I do pre-interviews for people who would like to work for my company. Let me tell you this:

1. HYGEINE - use soap, deodorant and shampoo. Wash your clothes - unless you want a date Oscar in the trashcan. Clean body + Clean clothes
2. Dont talk about that one time at band camp. Seriously - don't overshare.
3. Use your brain. If you have an education talk like you do. Sounding like you never made it out of middle school just makes you look lazy.

TeaLovesYou said...

I agree, it's so true. Still, since I hardly ever have anywhere important to go to (except work), I probably wouldn't change who I am just to make new friends (because that's the only thing that would come out of dressing up nice, and if you dress up too nice and go somewhere, you only get assholes checking you out.). So I'm just being me, for now :) We'll see how that goes and change if I end up being avoided by everyone :D

De Lly Dilettante said...

Nice post. I believe first impressions are really important...but even if people do happen to give a bad impression the first time round...I'd be willing to give a second chance.

MKL said...

For me first impression is a lot, but not everything. There's cases, where you're just totally wrong about a person at first. Because you assume that your capability to understand a person by the first impression you get is flawless. I say we can also make a mistake and interpret things wrong. But the things you mentioned above are extreme and most of us would walk away from such a weird person. I'm talking about normal people here. Well, that's my 1cents.

I love Canadians! And I love latte and I'm not ashamed of it ;)

Yet said...

your first impression might not mean everything but it sure will set you back some weeks or years! My first impression of my BF sucked and it took a year for us to start dating...see what I mean??

mysterg said...

First impressions aren't everything but they can make the hell of a difference.

My first impressions are rarely proved wrong, but everyone always gets at least a second chance, which means when they do prove me wrong I'm really pleased! I've made some great friends that way.

Hannah Miet said...

I used to think I was too good at first impressions and couldn't live up to them. That was, however, what we call "insecurity."

I agree that first impressions aren't everything. You simply cannot know the details from a snapshot.

At the same time, I think first impressions are rarely wrong, if you're good at making them. There is more to be revealed, yes. But the person acting like an asshole is most likely an asshole. It's just the way it works.

J.J. in L.A. said...

1st impressions can be deceiving because they're trying to make you believe that they're not psychotic...you don't find that out for at least 6 months.

My 1st impression of my man was that he was a woman-hating jerk...and I hated his voice. 6+ years later? Not so much. : )

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